You work out of a Hotel?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
