My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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