I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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