There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if only i could text you this smell
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
