the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
