So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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