We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize