that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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