i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
