THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
