Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
