could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
