In America we eat man semen.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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