I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
