but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
