Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
