hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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