you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
