we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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