The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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