it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just found puke in my bra..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
