Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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