Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
