Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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