Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
