there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
