I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
