New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
