I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
