He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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