i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
