I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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