good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
