Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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