Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just gift wrapped bread.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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