My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
