Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
