Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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