Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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