it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
