And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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