So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
