Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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