omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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