Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
