a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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