To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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