i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
