I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
