You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
