my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
