Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
